Perez's Japan GP was so bad he retired twice – Up/down in Suzuka

In 2023 Red Bull’s championship charge has seemed almost inevitable as time itself. How easy is it to get excited about groundhog day, every race crushed by the Max Verstappen machine – bar for one dreamy night in Singapore?

As Suzuka showed, the battle behind is close – one race it’s McLaren, the next Ferrari features etc – and they’re not really that far away from F1’s current dominators.

Until they get there though, at least we can amuse ourselves with Perez finding new ways to fail every race. Here’s what was up and down in Japan.

Red Bull rules

Whoever clocked that Perez loophole – one of Wheatley’s minions? – allowing him to take his ‘retired’ Red Bull back out and thus serve his penalty, so as to avoid one in Qatar, deserved an extra slurp of sake last night.

Gasly goes blue

😳😳😳 Gasly not a happy man and you can see why, this last lap last corner swap is mad 😭🤣
pic.twitter.com/dxjyhYhZU0

— Aarav (@_aarava) September 24, 2023

Pierre went absolutely bonkers after having to go through the grave injustice of sacrificing one point by letting team-mate Ocon back through at the finish line. Real, petty emotion. Love to see it.

Piastri’s podium

Piastri’s front-row qualifying spot and third in the race was his best performance yet this year – surely the most impressive debut season since another certain McLaren rookie 16 years ago?

Samurai ferret

Alonso is the samurai of the reverse-ferreting world. After telling his team they were “throwing me to the lions” with an early stop, post-race he labelled the broadcast “classic FOM radio, completely out of context” before posting online that he was “Happy with the start and happy that we have been fast.”

All’s well that ends well.

Seb’s no buzz kill

Goin’ down

Sargeant’s left front

That poor tyre has taken a real battering recently – four crashes in four races. Sargeant must owe his mechanics a few beers and donuts by now.

Sinking Sauber

Sheer misery for Bottas in Suzuka, taken out on two separate occasions by other cars – when the Alfa–Sauber was hopelessly slow anyway. Can he hang on through another two seasons of this before Audi entry? The mullet will probably have to go – the suits won’t approve.

Perez goes off the cliff

Another nightmare for Perez, a race so bad he had to retire from it twice – his season has surely reached its nadir.

Martin Muddle

The Aramco Martin kids’ form seems to be slipping away just as McLaren is raging up the timesheets – that 49-point advantage doesn’t look like much with still a good chunk of races still to go.