F1's total FIAsco: Up and down at 2022 Singapore GP

The Singapore GP managed to rain-delay its way into a unique position for this year’s championship: a long incident-filled race which was essentially quite boring anyway.

Treacherous damp patches lead to innocuous shunts left, right and centre but, with the championship almost done and dusted, it’s hard to get excited about yet another a midfield plodder nosing into the barrier and bringing out the 17th VSC.

Sergio Perez celebrated as if he’d just put in a performance worthy of Jim Clark at Spa ’63, when in fact his team-mate Max Verstappen would have likely obliterated the field had he started from pole – the Dutchman looked like he had the pace to do so.

The race would have been perhaps more entertaining if they’d started a bit closer to the original time, but of course we didn’t want Stefano Domenicali or will.i.am to get wet as they sauntered down the grid pre-race – these things are important, you know.

Here’s what was going up, down, round and into the TECPRO at Marina Bay:

Goin’ Down

Taking all the oxygen

Poor Alex Albon was put on a respirator in Italy after his appendicitis procedure, but then came back to perhaps the most physically demanding circuit of the year and immediately trounced outgoing Williams stablemate Nicholas Latifi in practice – the race didn’t go much better.

If ever a team decision was given the stamp of approval.

Total breakdown

The Singapore race acted as a bonus advert for why Fernando Alonso and Oscar Piastri didn’t want to drive for Alpine, with the Spaniard’s A522 conking out on lap 20, before Esteban Ocon’s decided it had had enough six circuits later.

Meanwhile McLaren executed a near-perfect race to take a smooth fourth and fifth for Lando Norris and Daniel Ricciardo respectively, hauling itself back into fourth in the constructors’.

Total FIAsco

The GP seemingly delayed to keep Westlife’s Pirelli C3 compound-coloured denim jackets dry, before once again the FIA keeps everyone on tenterhooks for hours after a session – then after all that seemingly ducks out of taking any real responsibility by handing out the most meagre of penalties to Perez.

Has it lost all ability to officiate?

All going wrong for Russell

Total shocker for George Russell – starts last, has an off trying to overtake Bottas, goes to dry tyres way too early, then drives right into Mick Schumacher.

Not a weekend to remember for F1’s favourite school prefect.

Bottas in a rut

What’s happened to poor Valtteri? Hasn’t scored in nine races, and can’t even do so in a high attrition race in Singapore.

What’s started out as a new lease of life at Hinwil has turned into midfield misery.

Goin’ up

Aston Martin

The Silverstone team, formerly a privateer favourite, now seems to cop a huge amount of stick, particularly the younger Stroll – in inverse proportion to the praise which rains down on Sebastian Vettel for apparently not very much at all.

Things are looking up for the green Power Rangers though, with a lovely sixth for Stroll and eighth for Vettel in Singapore, lifting it above Haas for seventh in the championship.

New broom, old broom

In the cutting edge, Work Day’d, Crypto.com’d world of F1, still pleasing to see brooms and brushes used to clear the track. Can’t beat ’em.

Brewing up a storm

Trust F1, in its attempt to make its land fair and good with the budget cap, to then get into a massive row about it anyway.

It wouldn’t be grand prix racing if their wasn’t a colossal row going on at the same time – you almost wondered if Wolff and Horner were hamming it up for the Netflix cameras with the accusations they were throwing.